Writing Experiment: Scenes and Sequels, part 2

In which I actually start replotting. So let's do this thing. First step, let's take each element of the outline, and contemplate how much it's needed, and whether it's better portrayed as a scene or sequel.

Original Plot

1. Learning to cast magic  - So this scene is important in that it sets the stage for the magic being used in the story. Now the magic here is slightly different than in the novels, in that it's more limited. There's only the elements, and not the other aspects (forthcoming in another post). Drama-wise, this scene was low. It only seeks to frame the magic, and introduce some of the characters. Probably worth finding a higher-stakes method of showing this.
2. Sam and Cat, disagreement in the Alley - This scene was serving to introduce some tension between Cat and Sam, and frame the underlying hatred of the war. The two scenes can probably be combined, amping up the tension a little
3. Mundane minister poison's Cat's mom - Taking the mom out of the picture is what starts the tension between Michael and Cat, and what is going on with the war. This scene needs to happen.
4. Funeral, Cat follows Sam to a Sim parlor - This is more sequel-y than scene. Low tension, and is supposed to act as more of an emotional reaction to teh death. Sam might be removed here, but it was seeding his treachery for later. 
5. Michael and Cat fight over whether or not to go to war - Michael wants to go to war, he's upset over Cat's mom's death. Cat is still looking for another way, but she's no idea what it is. This is definitely a scene, and ends with her being banished.
6. Cat fights with Finn on the streets - The purpose here was to seed the argument between them, because this leads to Finn selling her out to the mundanes. It also served to introduce the streets, and show how she's been living. Most of the info can be given in more of a sequel, opening into a scene involving Finn.
7. Cat is attacked, sold out by Finn. Michael rescues her - The original plan for this scene was for it to be a big tipping point. She gets sucked into the war, whether she wants to or not. She had given up her crown, abandoned her home, and yet the war still came to her. A climax of sorts. The current iteration doesn't come across as good, it's very low on tension. Combining it with the fight with Finn might help. 
8. Michael convinces Cat to lead an attack - Again, this was a very weak scene. There's very little tension, and a confusing change of location. This might be better served as a Sequel to the previous scene.
9. Adrielle visits, offers living metal - This is a turning point in the story, even though it's not the climax. Up to this point, we had been following hte normal course of the war, and though it's not clear, the mundanes are winning. Cat's efforts to stay out of the war is compounding problems, and the war might have ended soon, had it run it's course. Adrielle shows up, straight from the events of the 2nd novel, and starts mucking about. She gives Cat the living metal, effectively turning the tide of the war. 
10. Attack - The scene is confusing, so ti was kinda hard to follow who was killing whom. Cat is trying out the living metal, because Adrielle demands a high price.
11. Cat visits Adrielle, makes the deal - Probably the last sequel  / scene. Cat agrees to take the living metal, despite the high price: Burning down the city she grew up in. 
12. Cat burns down the city - In the original story, this was the opening scene, and the rest of the story was supposed to be structured as a flashback. Nobody got it. Everyone said that it was a different person in teh beginning than the rest of the story. That being said, I love the imagery here, and the scene itself is structured fairly.

Reworking the Scenes

 Alright, so I fail at killing my darlings. I didn't want to get rid of any of them. So let's see what we can come up with for scenes.

1. Scene - Let's rework the learning magic, and try and introduce Sam
1. Goal - Cast a spell, pretty simple goal
2. Conflict - Can't seem to get in the right frame of mind. Fire takes passion, anger, fear. Sam tries to distract her, smack talking the mundane peoples. It set's her off.
3. Setback - Manages to cast, but burns down the table. 
2. Sequel - Walking through the city. Still want to show the city operating.
1. Emotional Reaction - Angry at Sam for pissing her off
2. Logic - Something in the anger allowed her to cast.
3. Anticipation - Needs to learn to control the magic, owise bad stuff will happen
4. Choice - Goes to meet Michael
3.  Scene - Argument between Minister and Cat's mom
1. Goal - Talk to mom about magic
2. Conflict - Mom's in an argument w/ the minister
3. Setback - Guy storms out, mom collapses
4. Sequel - Funeral
1. Emotional Reaction - Sad / Angry, maybe 5 stages of loss?
2. Logic - War causes death, there must be a better way
3. Anticipation - Death is needless, going to war wont help anything
4. Choice - Confront the council, tell them war is bunk
5. Scene - Michael and Cat fight about the war (w/ Council there)
1. Goal - Talk the council into not going to war
2. Conflict - Michael is opposing her, pushing for the war
3. Setback - Council decides to go to war, and decides Cat is unfit ; She's banished
6. Sequel - Cat is dropped off on another planet, learns to fend for herself: Montage!
1. Emotional Reaction - Disappointed...and a little Angry. She's angry a lot...hmm
2. Logic - On the streets, needs to figure out how to survive
3. Anticipation - Getting hungry, surrounded by destruction
4. Choice - Needs to make friends on the street
7. Scene - Fight with Finn, attacked by Platoon
1. Goal - Food, territory, etc.
2. Conflict - Finn wants teh food too, convinces Soldiers to attack
3. Setback - Food gets blown up, has to abandon her stash
8. Sequel - Fallout of the fight
1. Emotional Reaction - Scared, cold, alone
2. Logic - War has nothing on this
3. Anticipation - Things were better at home, and all the anger has helped her gain control of her magics
4. Choice - Needs a way back in the fold
9. Scene - Adrielle visits
1. Goal - Looking for a way to get back to the council
2. Conflict - Adrielle tries to talk her into taking hte knife instead
3. Setback  - Can't get back to the council, but has the knife
10. Scene - Attacked by Sam
1. Goal - Survive attack
2. Conflict - Sam has tracked her down, attacks her
3. Setback - Kills Sam, Michael saves her from the rest
11. Sequel - Agrees to help Adrielle
1. Emotional Reaction - Relieved, 
2. Logic - Discusses witht he council, can turn the war in their favor
3. Anticipation - Presents the weapon
4. Choice - Agrees to the terms, Burns down the city

Conclusions

I trimmed it down a bit, and restructured. Moving the rescue till after the encounter with Adrielle changes that balance of power a little, but makes the plot flow better. It removes some of the most confusing scenes: The confrontation on teh ship where Michael convinces Cat to come back, and the attack on the generator where she confronts Sam. It'll also let me stretch out her time on the streets, which was the feedback I got from the instructor of the fiction-writing course.

Writing Advice: Scenes and Sequels

So I've talked big for a few weeks, analyzed some books, and gathered advice. Now let's try and put some of this into work eh?

So let's start witht he before. For this exercise, I'm simply looking at the piece I wrote for Fiction Writing last semester. So here are the scenes as written:

1. Cat is learning to cast magic, she fails
2. Cat and Michael are walking home, get confronted by Sam about how they treat non-mages
3. Minister of Technocrats (non-mages) poison's Cat's mom in a meeting
4. She then dies
5. Funeral, Cat follows Sam to a Sim parlor
6. Michael and Cat fight over whether or not to go to war, Cat is banished
7. Cat is now on the mean streets, fights with a street urchin (Finn)
8. Cat's attacked by a technocratic platoon, saved by Michael
9. Michael convinces Cat to lead an attack on generators
10. Adrielle visits, offers living metal
11. Attack, Cat kills Sam (traitor)
12. Cat visit's Adrielle, Living metal in exchange for burning down the city
13. Cat burns down the city

In this story, I tried starting out with the last scene, and then working up to it from a discourse standpoint. This was largely a failure, and just left everyone confused. And because of my lack of sequels, everyone said my characters were a bit weak.

I realize that most of you won't have any idea what's going on here. This peice started out as a short story to set the stage for the 3rd novel in my series. The characters in the world are:

• Caitlin (Cat) Beltane - So I started her out as just a girl, a mage. Somehow during the inception of the story, she turned into a princess. Apparently I have problems with scope. Her power's fire.
• Michael Bordine - Cat's best friend / cousin. When she became a princess, he became a Lord. His power's water.
• Samuel Nits - A rival of Cat's, afaik no relation. His power's Shadow.

A couple minor characters as well. Living metal is this idea I've been playing with of a semi-sentient metal which can change it's shape to match the bearer's need. The idea was brought up in the first book, and during the second book, the antagonist stole it. The antagonist is the character who shows up in the end of the story, Adrielle.

The third novel takes place in a futuristic world, where the world has been torn apart by war. The mages and the mundanes (Technocrats) have been fighting for years, and it shows no sign of abating. The purpose of this short story was to set up this war. By giving the Mages the living metal, Adrielle has tipped the balance of the war, and the third novel will be, in part, about setting it right.

Sequels

So let's start by describing Sequels. A sequel is a chance for a character to react to the last Conflict (scene). According to Jim Butcher, a Sequel has 4 basic parts: 

1. Emotional Reaction - The character needs to react to what happened
2. Review, Logic, and Reason - The character reviews facts and works through to a conclusion
3. Anticipation - The character starts to think about their next step
4. Choice - The character chooses his next action, and this sets up the next scene

Scenes offer emotions to your story, add color, and affect the pacing of your story. Longer scenes, shorter sequels = action story. Adding in micro-sequels can warm up the tone of your novel (more emotional), in cool (e.g. classical PI novels), no emotions are shown outside of sequels. But they're always present. 

Scenes

So I haven't spoken about Scenes at all. We all have a basic idea of what a scene is. I've actually been trying to define them more solidly for my research. On one hand, you have a certain amount of locality, in terms of time, space, characters. I'll admit, this is what I thought going into Butcher's article on scenes. So I was wrong. Very wrong. Scenes are not just about locality, they're about conflict. A scene is where you challenge your character, while they try and get something they want.

A scene has 3 major components, though Butcher lists 4. The first, Point of View Character (POVC) is important, but I don't see it as a component so much as something to make note of.

The 3 components are:

1. Goal - Your POVC wants something.
2. Conflict (Scene Question) - Another character wants to deny POVC what he wants. While in lit classes, we learn that there are many types of conflict, Butcher maintains there's only 1, between characters. Man vs Nature or w/e is bunk.
3. Setback - POVC doesn't get what he wants. More particularly, there are 4 answers
1. Yes - Character gets what he wants. This can get boring
2. Yes... But - Character gets what he wants, but something goes wrong. Much more interesting.
3. No - Solid denial, also can be boring, but better than Yes
4. No, and Furthermore - He claims this is the most interesting. I might agree. Character doesn't get what he wants, and manages to mess things up for himself more.

Conclusions

So I've given a pre, and a segment about Scenes and Sequels. I intended to start the replotting process, but that'll have to wait for another time.

Writing Experiment: Scenes and Sequels

So I had this entire experiment planned. I started working on it, but it was harder than I expected. That being said, I still gleaned some interesting information.

As part of this experiment, I looked at the first chapter of two books: Fool Moon by Jim Butcher, and Haunted by Kelley Armstrong. The goal was to split the first chapter into scenes and sequels. I wanted to see if this Scene and Sequel idea transfered between authors. I also wanted to get an idea for how many scenes & sequels fit into a chapter. In my first draft, I tended towards the several (usually around 5), but I also had no sequels (leading to the common conception that my characters were flat and underdeveloped).

So both of the books I looked at seemed to have roughly 1 scene and 1 (short) sequel in the chapter. The second chapter was starting to look similar, but I didn't manage to go into more detail. Still, short entry and food for thought.