First crit submission and first week of reading

I spent the first week of the new year revisiting Ariadne's Labyrinth, my NaNoWriMo novel. Revising the first couple chapters after two months was a very different experience than writing them in the first place. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite the experience I had hoped. While I was writing, I thought it had a lot of promise. No matter which way you look at it, it's probably the best thing I've written. But, while revisiting it, I noticed it had a lot more problems than I originally thought. Part of it is that the parts I really like are in the middle, and part of it is that I've misrepresented to myself how promising it is.

The plot has some promise. They spend too much time getting locked up, kidnapped, and stuff like that. I need more inventive things to go wrong. The novel is still a little cooler than I wanted, emotionally. The conflicts are too physical, and too constant. One of my beta readers said the whole thing read like everything was going wrong. To a point, this was intended: I was following the Jim Butcher school of narrative conflict. However, they're all the same sorts of conflict. More varied conflict might give some relief on one axis while pressuring the other, making the novel feel more believable and less "everything's going wrong."

The ending is weak. More accurately, the ending isn't earned by the novel. I had the ending in mind since I started, but some of the key conflicts that were supposed to be resolved weren't brought into enough light to make it worth it. Because they weren't set up, the ending feels like a bit of a cop out for me.

I also had some weaknesses in characterization and physical description. I didn't paint a good picture of my characters. My narrator was pretty consistent, but my secondary characters weren't. Christy started out really bubbly and fun, but she mellowed out later. This wouldn't be a problem if it was gradual/intentional, but it was kinda abrupt. I had chosen some descriptors for Ariadne but not my other characters, and because Ariadne was the narrator, and because of the mode the story was being told through, there wasn't a good way to include some of them. Maybe it doesn't matter, but something worth thinking about.

The mode fo the storytelling didn't come through as clear as I wanted either. The whole thing is written as part of a diary series that Ariadne, the MC, is writing to her (dead) mother. THere are some small hints of it, but it's not clear and sometimes I don't like how it comes out ont he page. It's always kind of awkward to address the reader, even if the reader is dressed up in another character.

I'm sure there's more things I can improve on, but these are just hte ones I've noticed recently. Now, onto my reading analysis.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Almost everyone I know has heard of the book by now. The re-mastering of Jane Austin's famous work with the addition of the zombie hordes. Now I haven't read the original, but I'm fairly familiar with the story through various movies (see: Bride and Prejudice, Pride and Prejudice (2005 w/ Kiera Knightly, and Lost in Austin), but the pacing in a movie is always very different than in the book. I could see the skeleton of Austin's plot beneath the zombies and I remember thinking that I hadn't realized how slowly the whole thing moved. The zombies spiced up the interaction, but I kept wanting the romance to shoot forward. In a way though, this was more honest and more believable than many storybook romances. Some of the new additions also made me laugh out loud during the reading. Calling the Zombies "Unmentionables" was a chuckle about every time. And then there were several "ball" jokes, and the description of trousers clinging to a man's "most English parts". A bit childish, to be sure, but every once in a while the timing would be impeccable and I would laugh. It almost makes me want to read the original.


Counterfeit Magic
This is the latest novella in the Otherworld series, by Kelley Armstrong. I love her witches, possibly because I'm a magic whore. This novella is about a Supernatural Fight club, being investigated by Paige and her ward Savannah. Apparently Savannah's been growing up fast, it's such a difference seeing her in her early 20's instead of when she first shows up on the scene. This novella suffered from the same problem I had with Waking the Witch, which is also a Svannah-centric story: The ending feels like it's not over. Waking hte Witch was specificially supposed to be a cliffhanger, but I'm not sure this one was supposed to be. The main conflict was dealt with, but some of the other things weren't tied up. While I love the plot, I feel like this isn't my favorite work of hers.


Patriot Witch
This was a premeditated random choice. I know that sounds weird, but bear with me. I don't know how I stumbled across it, and if it wasn't about Witches, I probably would have left it on the shelf. The first in a series by C. C. Finlay, it's a historical fantasy, based around witches in the Revolutionary war. I'm not much of a history buff. I think the opening conflict was one of the first shots fired in the war, which helps draw the MC into the conflict a little more thoroughly. The conflict at the farm was pretty interesting, but I was getting lost by the time they left and started operating in the greater War setting. The ending was a bit confusing, though it might be because I was rushing it a bit.


The Unusual Suspects
Book 2 of the Sister's Grimm, by Michael Buckley. This one has the kids finally going to school, only to find out everything's going wrong. We also find out more about who has kidnapped the kids' parents, which is seeding the next book. How they'll drag out the conflict over the next five books, I don't know. But it's a nice read, for what it is.

Book Review: Rachel Vincent, Cassandra Claire, Sarah Rees Brennan, Jim Butcher, Sarra Cannon, Michael Buckley

39 Clues: Into the Guantlet 
And with book #10, the 39 clues is finished. It's a middle-grade book, and as such the ending is more or less the only one that could have happened. However, it was well executed, and there was a twist or two that I didn't see coming. This gives me a little perspective when I look at the series as a whole. There were plenty of twists, plenty of secrets. While many of them were not foreshadowed fully, they were consistent, even across different authors. That may be something I haven't really talked about: There were about 5-7 authors for the whole series (a couple wrote two-3). There was some minor inconsistency of characters (mostly the side characters, not the three main ones), and I'm sure that more than once the authors threw a loop for their compatriots to deal with. It must have been an exciting trip. As far as the series itself goes, as a middle-grade series, I feel it did it's job. It is not the best series I've read, for this point in my life, but it was enjoyable.

My Soul to Save
The second book in the series by  Rachel Vincent. This one brought up some Faustian themes, mixing them with the very rich mythos that she's woven for the characters. The trip to the underworld was pretty crazy, and I'm hoping will get addressed more in future books. As it were, the worldbuilding continues to impress me. The romance is still a little strange, but it's easy to imagine that true of most relationships at that age (having not been in one myself, I can't comment more fully). Other than that, this remains an impressive series, and I hope to read more soon.

Demons Lexicon
First book in a series by Sarah Rees Brennan. The book held my attention, and was rather well executed, right up until the ending. The book follows two brothers who are running from magicians. Magicians, like in Bartemeus, summon demons to give them power, and the two brothers have run afoul of a group. As premise goes, it's not bad. There's some cool worldbuilding, like the dances at the goblin markets. However, I was very unsatisfied with the ending. It was confusing, and while I got the twist (had guessed it only a few pages earlier), I didn't really like hte resolution. I'll probably give her another shot, but it's on teh back burner for the moment. Cut the ending, and it would have been a great book.

Clockwork Angel
A friend of mine doesn't have much respect for Cassandra Claire. This is the first book in her second trilogy, set in the victorian (steampunk) time. The thing that caught me about the first trilogy is the awesome use of runes for the shadowhunters. The shadowhunters are a group of more-than-humans who try and protect teh regular humans from the "monsterous" downworlders. The worldbuilding caught me pretty strongly in this one two. We see more of downworleder society in this one, which I enjoyed, but I still think the runes are some of the best worldbuilding in the setting, and the one thing I keep wanting to find more about.

Side Jobs
Jim Butcher has collected a bunch of short stories, novellas, etc. that have been published in various anthologies and released the collection as it's own novel. Awesome idea, for those of us who don't want to go out and buy the dozen anthologies that contain some of his work. He still has more out there that are not included in here, but it was a great start. Some of the stories caught me more than others. The one from Thomas' viewpoint let me see deeper into some aspects of the setting that, by their nature, can't be shown from Dresden. And I liked them. The one from Karrin's viewpoint was an interesting story, if a bit emo. Personally, I think I'm more excited about the next book in the series than most of these side novellas.

Inner Demons
For another shameless plug, Sarra Cannon has released book 2 for general consumption. If I had an e-reader, I'd totally be all over this. In the second book, the world is starting to be fleshed out more, and the girl really starts to learn more about her magic.

Sisters Grimm: Fairy Tale Detectives 
The last book I'll talk about is the new series of Audio books I'm starting, by Michael Buckley. The premise is a pair of orphans who are descendents of the Brothers Grimm, start taking place in the family business: acting as magical detectives to the everafters, the fairy tale creatures. Again, a middle-grade book, I didn't really expect any great revelations. Still, there was enough of a twist to keep things interesting. Mostly, I'm reading it for the random literary and fairy tale creatures who pop up every now and again.