Need a title

Many things to talk about today. Let's start with a review of last week's writing group. Last Thursday was the first day the writing group had gotten to look at my writing. They had a lot of comments. I agree with most of them, and about half of them were actually covered by the previous blog entry.

First thing, they didn't like the characterization of the narrator. Apparently she comes off as younger than I intended, and more masculine than I intended. Same with James. So I either need to grow them up, or let them be younger. I'm not sure which I'd prefer. THey also agreed with my assessment that the diary wasn't working. It introduced more problems than it solved, and while I like the idea, it's not well executed. It'd take some serious work to get things up to shape that way, and it might be safer to just remove it all together.

While they loved the worldbuilding, they thought there wasn't enough exposition about it. I was so worried about avoiding an info-dump (esp. because of the diary medium), that I didn't actually accurately describe the setting. Going into deeper detail of the crazy artifice would have been awesome. They agreed that there wasn't enough emotion (/ reaction), which I knew. Some of the reactions were also out of character (wondering something the character would know). And the stakes weren't well defined, or didn't generate the correct worry/fear, because of the lack of depth in the explanation of the guilds. THe book came off as too much of a McGuffin, probably because it was introduced accidently. On a more amusing note, they expected a note in the bakery scene (which was present, but cut out in edits).

So it sounds like I have 3 main things to think about for the next step: Think a bit harder on my characterization (make sure they seem the age they're supposed to, etc.), provide more description / grounding into the setting, and show more reactions / emotions. Beyond that, some elements of craft (consistent capitalization, formatting, etc.) need to be read through a little more carefully before I throw it up online.

So, with that in hand, I want to talk a little bit about my ideas for my DragonMage rewrite. Now only a handful of people have read the original draft, and frankly it has a lot of problems (I almost wish I had submitted a few chapters of that just so the group saw how far I came before what they saw / tore apart ;)). I've been tossing around genre considerations for a few weeks on it. As written (or at least, as it was in my head), the novel is the first in a trilogy, with each book in the trilogy in different genres. It's not going to work that way. I was listening to an interview, with Patrick Rothfus, at San Diego Comic Con. He talked about his definition of urban fantasy, and fairy tales. This got the gears rolling in my head. The basic premise of his definition is that there are two worlds, the mundane normal world, and the magical other (faerie) world. And basically, the plot happens during the interaction between the two worlds. So, by keeping Magic in the shadows, I could in effect leverage Faerie/UF themes and tropes to keep consistency through the three novels, as they jump from setting to setting. I'm still thinking through all the ramifications, but it is a promising idea.

The other idea I've been kicking around lately is a different way of fleshing out characters. My characters are pretty 1D, and they need more. Secondary characters suffer more than primary, naturally, but even my primary characters have some problem with this. I've heard a couple people mention t his method before, but I never read too much into details, and I've never investigated it myself. So, for this blog entry, I will attempt it. THe basic idea is to do a tarot spread for the character, to discover who they are, what blocks them, and what's in their future. From there, I hope I can plan an arc for the character that is interesting, and I can more consistently characterize them.

So, for this exercise, I will pick the narrator of the sequel for DragonMage, Jeshi the Bloodmage. I've talked about her a little before on this blog (which is why I'm starting with her, truth be told), but this may completely reinvent her.

The spread I'm using is called the Mandala Spread. The deck I'm using is the Shapeshifter Tarot, which includes all the minor arcana and major arcana (though renamed to fit the decks themes), as well as three extra major arcana.
So let's get started!

1. An overview of self - Seeker of the Earth: Initiation, inner and outer strength
2. Ambitions / Goals - The Sacred Flame: Emotion, Energy
3. Ideals, Dreams - The Warrior of the Earth: Self-responsibility, Shapeshifting
4. Real achievements to this time - Deception: Spying, Loss through deception, wrong choices
5. Dependencies, Faulty beliefs - Wealth: Abundance, Gain, Family, Strength
6. Strenghts and positive traits - Abundance: Healing, Success, Prosperity
7. Faults and Weaknesses - Transformation, Release, Renewal
8. Self Perception - Happiness: Contentment, Success, Love
9. Desires - The Lovers: Attraction, Enticement

Well, I'm not sure how I'm going to put all that together. A lot of the data seems to fit more with Sabine, rather than Jeshi how I originally imagined her. (Though the tie to energy is how blood magic works). Look for my next entry on the magic system, and an attempt on how to tie it together.


Before we close, an accounting of the two books I've finished since my last entry.
Witch and Wizard
  The first book in the series by James Patterson, Witch and Wizard tells the story of two young kids who get arrested under charge of witchcraft, and it changes their whole world. The mythological worldbuilding is decent, but the political  landscape pulled me out of the UF genre, where I thought I was. I had a hard time believing in the New Order, at least as it sit in modern time, though the rest of the setting was placed as such.

The Problem Child
Third book in the series by Michel Buckley, we see an arc I've always loved in fiction: Magic addiction. Probably because I'd be prone to it myself, I always sympathize with characters who get touched by magic and find themselves overwhelmed, and reaching for it as a first solution to every problem. The stakes are higher now, and the villain has been revealed to be a pawn. All in all, a good step forward. They're keeping the tension high, even though they've made progress on what I thought was the overarching plot.