Writing Experiment: Scenes and Sequels, part 2

In which I actually start replotting. So let's do this thing. First step, let's take each element of the outline, and contemplate how much it's needed, and whether it's better portrayed as a scene or sequel.

Original Plot

1. Learning to cast magic  - So this scene is important in that it sets the stage for the magic being used in the story. Now the magic here is slightly different than in the novels, in that it's more limited. There's only the elements, and not the other aspects (forthcoming in another post). Drama-wise, this scene was low. It only seeks to frame the magic, and introduce some of the characters. Probably worth finding a higher-stakes method of showing this.
2. Sam and Cat, disagreement in the Alley - This scene was serving to introduce some tension between Cat and Sam, and frame the underlying hatred of the war. The two scenes can probably be combined, amping up the tension a little
3. Mundane minister poison's Cat's mom - Taking the mom out of the picture is what starts the tension between Michael and Cat, and what is going on with the war. This scene needs to happen.
4. Funeral, Cat follows Sam to a Sim parlor - This is more sequel-y than scene. Low tension, and is supposed to act as more of an emotional reaction to teh death. Sam might be removed here, but it was seeding his treachery for later. 
5. Michael and Cat fight over whether or not to go to war - Michael wants to go to war, he's upset over Cat's mom's death. Cat is still looking for another way, but she's no idea what it is. This is definitely a scene, and ends with her being banished.
6. Cat fights with Finn on the streets - The purpose here was to seed the argument between them, because this leads to Finn selling her out to the mundanes. It also served to introduce the streets, and show how she's been living. Most of the info can be given in more of a sequel, opening into a scene involving Finn.
7. Cat is attacked, sold out by Finn. Michael rescues her - The original plan for this scene was for it to be a big tipping point. She gets sucked into the war, whether she wants to or not. She had given up her crown, abandoned her home, and yet the war still came to her. A climax of sorts. The current iteration doesn't come across as good, it's very low on tension. Combining it with the fight with Finn might help. 
8. Michael convinces Cat to lead an attack - Again, this was a very weak scene. There's very little tension, and a confusing change of location. This might be better served as a Sequel to the previous scene.
9. Adrielle visits, offers living metal - This is a turning point in the story, even though it's not the climax. Up to this point, we had been following hte normal course of the war, and though it's not clear, the mundanes are winning. Cat's efforts to stay out of the war is compounding problems, and the war might have ended soon, had it run it's course. Adrielle shows up, straight from the events of the 2nd novel, and starts mucking about. She gives Cat the living metal, effectively turning the tide of the war. 
10. Attack - The scene is confusing, so ti was kinda hard to follow who was killing whom. Cat is trying out the living metal, because Adrielle demands a high price.
11. Cat visits Adrielle, makes the deal - Probably the last sequel  / scene. Cat agrees to take the living metal, despite the high price: Burning down the city she grew up in. 
12. Cat burns down the city - In the original story, this was the opening scene, and the rest of the story was supposed to be structured as a flashback. Nobody got it. Everyone said that it was a different person in teh beginning than the rest of the story. That being said, I love the imagery here, and the scene itself is structured fairly.

Reworking the Scenes

 Alright, so I fail at killing my darlings. I didn't want to get rid of any of them. So let's see what we can come up with for scenes.

1. Scene - Let's rework the learning magic, and try and introduce Sam
1. Goal - Cast a spell, pretty simple goal
2. Conflict - Can't seem to get in the right frame of mind. Fire takes passion, anger, fear. Sam tries to distract her, smack talking the mundane peoples. It set's her off.
3. Setback - Manages to cast, but burns down the table. 
2. Sequel - Walking through the city. Still want to show the city operating.
1. Emotional Reaction - Angry at Sam for pissing her off
2. Logic - Something in the anger allowed her to cast.
3. Anticipation - Needs to learn to control the magic, owise bad stuff will happen
4. Choice - Goes to meet Michael
3.  Scene - Argument between Minister and Cat's mom
1. Goal - Talk to mom about magic
2. Conflict - Mom's in an argument w/ the minister
3. Setback - Guy storms out, mom collapses
4. Sequel - Funeral
1. Emotional Reaction - Sad / Angry, maybe 5 stages of loss?
2. Logic - War causes death, there must be a better way
3. Anticipation - Death is needless, going to war wont help anything
4. Choice - Confront the council, tell them war is bunk
5. Scene - Michael and Cat fight about the war (w/ Council there)
1. Goal - Talk the council into not going to war
2. Conflict - Michael is opposing her, pushing for the war
3. Setback - Council decides to go to war, and decides Cat is unfit ; She's banished
6. Sequel - Cat is dropped off on another planet, learns to fend for herself: Montage!
1. Emotional Reaction - Disappointed...and a little Angry. She's angry a lot...hmm
2. Logic - On the streets, needs to figure out how to survive
3. Anticipation - Getting hungry, surrounded by destruction
4. Choice - Needs to make friends on the street
7. Scene - Fight with Finn, attacked by Platoon
1. Goal - Food, territory, etc.
2. Conflict - Finn wants teh food too, convinces Soldiers to attack
3. Setback - Food gets blown up, has to abandon her stash
8. Sequel - Fallout of the fight
1. Emotional Reaction - Scared, cold, alone
2. Logic - War has nothing on this
3. Anticipation - Things were better at home, and all the anger has helped her gain control of her magics
4. Choice - Needs a way back in the fold
9. Scene - Adrielle visits
1. Goal - Looking for a way to get back to the council
2. Conflict - Adrielle tries to talk her into taking hte knife instead
3. Setback  - Can't get back to the council, but has the knife
10. Scene - Attacked by Sam
1. Goal - Survive attack
2. Conflict - Sam has tracked her down, attacks her
3. Setback - Kills Sam, Michael saves her from the rest
11. Sequel - Agrees to help Adrielle
1. Emotional Reaction - Relieved, 
2. Logic - Discusses witht he council, can turn the war in their favor
3. Anticipation - Presents the weapon
4. Choice - Agrees to the terms, Burns down the city

Conclusions

I trimmed it down a bit, and restructured. Moving the rescue till after the encounter with Adrielle changes that balance of power a little, but makes the plot flow better. It removes some of the most confusing scenes: The confrontation on teh ship where Michael convinces Cat to come back, and the attack on the generator where she confronts Sam. It'll also let me stretch out her time on the streets, which was the feedback I got from the instructor of the fiction-writing course.